dannyxhutch: January 2012

Hello everyone,

It has been a minute since I updated this and we been on the road for a couple months now, close to 3 maybe, so a bunch of stuff has happened since the last update. I like to try and keep these things brief cause I can't see my friends having a long enough attention span to read for more than 10 minutes. Also, my main blog competition is Con's and all he puts up is funny pictures with no reading at all so if I wanna keep up with him I can't be boring.

So I guess last time I wrote we were in Namibia and had just gone through South Africa. We're now in India but I will just give the low down for the last bit of Africa before I get into the Indian craziness. We went through a couple more countries...Zambia, Botswana, Malawi, Tanzania/Zanzibar and Kenya before we got outta Africa. They were all pretty wild and things got hella rugged the further up North we got. At first I thought South Africa and Namibia were worn down but Malawi and Zambia were haggard. In Malawi the power just goes out all day randomly so the place is pretty much shut down. At resturants they cant even bring you food cause you try to order somethin and they just say "we can't cook that" so you end up eating this weird corn meal paste stuff called "shima" which is horrible...but the locals eat that shit up like its the tastiest thing on earth.

Here's the brief history of what we got up too. Left Nambia and got to Zambia, we checked out Vic Falls and swam on the edge of the waterfall which was pretty hype. Then went on a little safari in Botswana to Chobe national park, saw some animals there hangin out lookin weird. After that we went to Malawi on the most horrid buses ever. There was probably 150 people on shittiest smallest most haggard bus and im pretty sure none of them wore pit stick and had a diet of only fish. They played African music at full blast the entire way and the heat was unbearable. Every stop everyone got off and got more fish to eat. I saw women breat feeding, people pissing and puking...all on the fucking bus! Then when it got dark I felt some weird crawling on me and realized cockroaches were emerging from my seat and were just chillin on me. There was no other seats to move to so me and Brit just had to suck it up for the last few hours and hang with the bugs.

We got to Malawi and hung out in Nhakata Bay for a few days and went swimming in the lake. Then we caught some more buses to Tanzania...got robbed again at the border for some dollars and then headed to Zanzibar. The island was super nice, we hung out in nice resorts and swan in the clearest water I've ever seen. Then we saw some dolphins and monkeys. Brit was pullin the monkeys tails. After that we went on a safari in the Serengetti for a few days and saw lots of animals. I had the shits the entire time but all the toilets here are squatters and for some reason I just can't use them. Its not the smell or grossness of them I just physically cannot get poo out my butt in the position you gotta squat in. So I just had the worst diarrhea ever but couldn't get it out my ass...def put a damper on my safari fun. I did get to poop in the Serengeti though which was a plus I guess.

After Tanzania we went to Kenya and stayed in Mombasa for a few days swimming in the ocean and meeting people before heading to Nairobi (Nairobbery). Everyone we met pretty much guaranteed us we would get robbed there but I actually thought it was a pretty nice city. We went to a little elephant orphanage to see the babies and I started to feel weird there. I went to the bathroom (squatter) and had the most violent shits and vomiting that I have experienced in my life. I pretty much blacked out on the floor in some liquid which I hoped was water. Then I tried to get Brit so we could head back but we made it about 20 steps before I got crazy tunnel vision and dizzy and Brit had to carry me to a bench. I couldn't move for a bit and the cab driver had to drive into the place to load me into the car. Big time puss status...Back at the hostel an American dude we met gave me a homemade malaria test he had with him to see if thats what I had. Brit had to stab me with some needle to check my blood, luckily the tests said I was malaria free. When I was feelin better we got a group of friends and went to Carnivore where we got to eat crocodile, camel, ostrich and ox testicles...which were actually really good. Crocodile sucks though. Last thing we did in Africa was go to a giraffe farm where we got to pet the giraffes and they licked our faces, they loved licking Brits face as you can see in the picture below.

Thats all I got for now, this was fucking long again. I gotta work on that. Next update I'll talk about India and how fucked up and crazy this country is. Grant wanted me to acknowledge him in my blog instead of just Ramsay so what's up Grant I hope things are ratty in Van. I'm gonna post this without proofing it cause I gotta go eat some Indian food which will probably give me more diarrhea. So if there are spelling mistakes I don't really care maybe they will be funny. Also, I couldn't figure out how to get this aligned to the left which is why the layout is funny. Hope everyone enjoys the pics.

- Dan