dannyxhutch

Hello everyone,

It has been a minute since I updated this and we been on the road for a couple months now, close to 3 maybe, so a bunch of stuff has happened since the last update. I like to try and keep these things brief cause I can't see my friends having a long enough attention span to read for more than 10 minutes. Also, my main blog competition is Con's and all he puts up is funny pictures with no reading at all so if I wanna keep up with him I can't be boring.

So I guess last time I wrote we were in Namibia and had just gone through South Africa. We're now in India but I will just give the low down for the last bit of Africa before I get into the Indian craziness. We went through a couple more countries...Zambia, Botswana, Malawi, Tanzania/Zanzibar and Kenya before we got outta Africa. They were all pretty wild and things got hella rugged the further up North we got. At first I thought South Africa and Namibia were worn down but Malawi and Zambia were haggard. In Malawi the power just goes out all day randomly so the place is pretty much shut down. At resturants they cant even bring you food cause you try to order somethin and they just say "we can't cook that" so you end up eating this weird corn meal paste stuff called "shima" which is horrible...but the locals eat that shit up like its the tastiest thing on earth.

Here's the brief history of what we got up too. Left Nambia and got to Zambia, we checked out Vic Falls and swam on the edge of the waterfall which was pretty hype. Then went on a little safari in Botswana to Chobe national park, saw some animals there hangin out lookin weird. After that we went to Malawi on the most horrid buses ever. There was probably 150 people on shittiest smallest most haggard bus and im pretty sure none of them wore pit stick and had a diet of only fish. They played African music at full blast the entire way and the heat was unbearable. Every stop everyone got off and got more fish to eat. I saw women breat feeding, people pissing and puking...all on the fucking bus! Then when it got dark I felt some weird crawling on me and realized cockroaches were emerging from my seat and were just chillin on me. There was no other seats to move to so me and Brit just had to suck it up for the last few hours and hang with the bugs.

We got to Malawi and hung out in Nhakata Bay for a few days and went swimming in the lake. Then we caught some more buses to Tanzania...got robbed again at the border for some dollars and then headed to Zanzibar. The island was super nice, we hung out in nice resorts and swan in the clearest water I've ever seen. Then we saw some dolphins and monkeys. Brit was pullin the monkeys tails. After that we went on a safari in the Serengetti for a few days and saw lots of animals. I had the shits the entire time but all the toilets here are squatters and for some reason I just can't use them. Its not the smell or grossness of them I just physically cannot get poo out my butt in the position you gotta squat in. So I just had the worst diarrhea ever but couldn't get it out my ass...def put a damper on my safari fun. I did get to poop in the Serengeti though which was a plus I guess.

After Tanzania we went to Kenya and stayed in Mombasa for a few days swimming in the ocean and meeting people before heading to Nairobi (Nairobbery). Everyone we met pretty much guaranteed us we would get robbed there but I actually thought it was a pretty nice city. We went to a little elephant orphanage to see the babies and I started to feel weird there. I went to the bathroom (squatter) and had the most violent shits and vomiting that I have experienced in my life. I pretty much blacked out on the floor in some liquid which I hoped was water. Then I tried to get Brit so we could head back but we made it about 20 steps before I got crazy tunnel vision and dizzy and Brit had to carry me to a bench. I couldn't move for a bit and the cab driver had to drive into the place to load me into the car. Big time puss status...Back at the hostel an American dude we met gave me a homemade malaria test he had with him to see if thats what I had. Brit had to stab me with some needle to check my blood, luckily the tests said I was malaria free. When I was feelin better we got a group of friends and went to Carnivore where we got to eat crocodile, camel, ostrich and ox testicles...which were actually really good. Crocodile sucks though. Last thing we did in Africa was go to a giraffe farm where we got to pet the giraffes and they licked our faces, they loved licking Brits face as you can see in the picture below.

Thats all I got for now, this was fucking long again. I gotta work on that. Next update I'll talk about India and how fucked up and crazy this country is. Grant wanted me to acknowledge him in my blog instead of just Ramsay so what's up Grant I hope things are ratty in Van. I'm gonna post this without proofing it cause I gotta go eat some Indian food which will probably give me more diarrhea. So if there are spelling mistakes I don't really care maybe they will be funny. Also, I couldn't figure out how to get this aligned to the left which is why the layout is funny. Hope everyone enjoys the pics.

- Dan

Just a few peeps on the bus

Just a few more peeps on the bus

Gettin it

Monkey joint rollin

Safari buds

Tuk Tuk ride

Minutes before the most violent shits of my life

Malarial fever

Ox ball treat

Bro'd out

Beastiality

Giraffes look weird in real life

*I wrote this all out in Notepad and when I copied it in here it got all bunged up so I tried to fix it all but if there is mistakes then I blame it all on that fiasco.

So I had planned on updating this alot sooner than now so I could avoid a lengthy recap and having to upload tons of photos, but since I have been staying at places with some pretty sketchy internet I haven't been able too. Also, I just haven't had much time. So since I have quite a bit to write about I'm going to go ahead and just rifle off a bunch of point form stuff and hope that everyone gets the jist of what I am talking about...and by everyone I mean Ramsay since I think he is the only one whoever reads this. Probably for the best anyways since not many others think what I write is funny.

Anyways, I havent written on here in forever and I can't remember much that has gone down in the past year or whatever it's been, but here is a quick list of some stuff that's happened and then I am gonna get to the meat of this post which is my trip stuff and pics.

So some bullshit from the last year...
- Graduated from university (finally)
- Took LSAT, did ok-
Went to Whistler and bungee jumped with Brit
- Went Skydiving with the family
- Played a bunch of Ratwheel shows, most notable our first fest in Victoria which was lots of fun
- Partied a bunch with friends
- Saved money for the around the world trip
- Watched Tommmy lose 800 bucks at the casino on my birthday (this for some reason stands out in my mind)
- Moved in with Connor
- Moved out and moved in with Brit
- Got some tattoos
- Watched my friends party lots and get drunk, puke in and on my car, pass out with each other, and eat several cheese pleasers
- Did some cliff jumping
- Broke my dirt bike on the first ride
- Shot some guns for the first time, was a huge puss about it

And thats pretty much all I can remember for now...I am sure I missed tons of important stuff that people will be bummed about cause I forgot about them/the stuff we did but I bet it was all great and I am sure somewhere deep in my memory bank our fun times are waiting to be remembered.

NOW ONTO THE GOOD STUFF

Me and Brit have been planning a big around the world trip for some time now and after months of planning we finally left at the beginning of November. We played a final Ratwheel show the night before I left which was great, then in the morning it was off to Van and now were are a couple weeks into the trip. I'm writing this in the hostel bar listening to some horrible radio music so I don't feel that funny cause the bad tunes are ruining my mood, but I'll try to get through this anyways and make it an somewhat enjoyable read. So here is a quick recap of what's been going on.

- Got to Van and went partyin with Brits buds for Halloween, Van is wild for Halloween but I was more interested in playing with Amber and Tyler's new kitten which was way more fun than any bar could ever be
- Left to Johannesburg (South Africa for all the retards reading) on the 1st and the plan ride was the longest experience ever. 4 hrs to Chicago, 12.4 hrs to Abu Dhabi and another 8 hrs to Jo'Burg with layovers in between. We arrived at 4am on the 3rd
- Got off the plane and were instantly swarmed by dudes tryin to help us with our bags and take us in a cab places. Exactly what you want after 2 days of travelling...a bunch of weird black dudes grabbin at you
- We got away from the guys and tried to get money. This resulted in me pretty much instantly losing my credit card to an ATM that ate it. Good start to Africa
- Caught a cab to Kevin and Yasmines house, a couple we were staying with for the first couple days
- Got there and got to know them a bit, they had to work and had to lock up their place (every place in the city has razor wire, a couple 7 feet fences and a security system...rugged shit) so pretty much me and Brit had to get the fuck out till they were off work
- They dropped us off downtown Jo'Burg and we got to wander around for like 9 hours in some strange place getting super sketched out of getting robbed and not knowing where was safe and where wasn't
- We were so tired and just passed out all over the place, Mc'Dicks, on the bus, in taxi's
- Went to Apartheid museum...heavy shit
- Later went to dinner with Kev and Yasmine, I got a "Bunny Chow"
- Passed out and slept in till like noon the next day
- Went to Melville which was a nicer area around where we were stayin
- Ate weird cheesy/corn pop things and met a rasta dude also named Dan. He claimed we were buds
- Went to a Couch Surfing party that night and met a bunch of people. Brit drank lots of wine
- Caught the plane to Cape Town the next day
- Got to Cape Town and went to the waterfront, shit was super nice and high class (Armani type shit)
- Met a couple from London who were travelling to some places we were going...both were named Sam
- Next day we caught the train to Boulder's Beach and got to see Penguins
- Went up to Table mountain that night and took tons of flicks the view was wild
- Got robbed that night
- Next day got to hang around and wait for the Police to file a report with them
- Now I hate Africa and think it fucking sucks and want to go home
- Caught the bus that night to Oudtshoorn
- Went to Cango caves in the morning and had to bike home from there (35kms)
- Stopped at Cango Ostrich farm and got to ride ostriches, I fell off and Brit was lovin it

FUCK THIS IS WAY TOO LONG AND NO ONE EVEN CARES TO READ ABOUT THIS BULLSPIT, I AM NOW GOING TO STOP WRITING ABOUT THE SMALL STUFF AND ONLY WRITE ABOUT THE IMPORTANT STUFF...LIKE TYPES OF CHIPS AND CANDY I HAVE TRIED

- Nik Nak's: These things intrigued me cause they came in a yellow package with a rasta dude on the front but you couldn't see inside and I saw the packages everywhere. So I got some and was super let down to find that all they were, were FUCKING CHEESIES! Won't get again.
- Simba: This is like the Lay's of South Africa, (although they also have Lays...so I guess they aren't the Lays of South Africa) they are everywhere and come in tons of weird flavours. So far I tried Steakhouse, Chutney, Cheddar and Onion and one other one I can't remember
- Fritos: Classic corn chip except you can get them in different flavours here like Ketchup and Chutney
- Niki: This was like a Bounty bar with coconut but you can also get it with Chocolate coconut...always good times
- Tex: Similar to a KitKat but the chocolate insides are bubbled like an Aero
- Lunch Bar: Weird name for a candy bar but it was like a Mr.Big crossed with an Oh'Henry
- Curly: This shit ruled, it was shaped and looked like a Chessy but was tasted like peanut butter...that sounds disgusting writing it out but trust me, shit was delicious.
- Golden Sweet Corn: This was weird little balls of corn...they had the texture of Cheesies but the taste and look of corn pops.

So yea, that's what I tried so far OH! and they got this weird cream soda thats green and doesn't taste like cream soda. Its like a Mountain Dew/Cream Soda hybrid that kicks my ass everytime I have it...in a good way. I will have to report back when I try more stuff. Gonna be a fat fuck when I get home. I already got tons of heaters forming an apartment complex on my face.

We did some other stuff like visit a wildlife rance, go sandboarding, see the desert and huge sand dunes, hang by the ocean, swim and tan, see a shark and some seals but who wants to read about that crap? It's all about the candy. Anyways, I'll be back in some time and have some more shit to post. Until then have fun in Canada Ramsay, I hope you enjoy The Sword in Kamloops.

Ps. Me and Brit danced in the pool today...needless to say we had a big big day today.
- Dan

Here are some pics I've taken and thought were pretty neat, we got tons more that we took with our more high class camera that I haven't posted on here yet...but I will soon. I promise.